Captain Niit's log: January 2016

The ancient rite, of sea farers around the world, seeking entry into King Neptune's realm.
But first, everyone who wish to enter will have to prove themselves worthy. A ship transiting oceans, harboring land lubbers, pollywogs or slimys is cursed, and will be exposed to Neptune's wrath, facing storms misfortunes and other mishaps.
During transit it is very important to keep the crew motivated and focused. And when the transit takes you across the equator there is a possibility to repent and seak forgiveness..
On this very successful event, blessed by our Lord Neptune...we managed to bring further 12 stray lambs into his fold..
It is always a fine balance of putting on a good show with "sting" without exposing participants to dangers or safety hazards. Unfortunately the film of this event is to fat for my blog, so the pictures will have to do, but I think the general atmosphere is captured. It was a very joyous occasion and a very smelly one. One Pollywog expressed the difficulty in getting rid of the stench from his body days after the event.. a proper marinated event...I'm glad to hear.

It took me a good few days to put together the documentation, and certificates to make it memorable. a lot of cut and paste...
quite proud of the end result I must say, and very grateful and impressed by my excellent crew that took a big roll in the performance, playing the rolls of King Neptune's and his entourage.
Most important role, and thus the biggest contributor to the success is the performance of King Neptune (Ch.Eng Mårten Ohlsen) and "Davy Jones", Neptune's clerk and honorable peg leg(Ch.Off Julio Diaz).

Below how the events unfolded.. starting with the proclamation...

After crew sign up for the task, it was followed by the subpoena...

Preparing for the ceremony

Tarp crawl, slippery, smelly generally unpleasant..

All kinds of old food waste soup.

Ceremony begin, King Neptune, wife Amphitrite, Royal baby Triton, Clerk Davy Jones(an evil bastard), and three "Bears" shellbacks as assistants.

The script of the whole performance is to be found in the bottom of this blog piece.

Pollywogs summoned

Davy Jones initiates the Pollywogs

Tarp crawl, quite discusting, tarp of food waste soup on a warm deck.

No turning back now

Followed by the "Brine dunk" in the Royal bath

Cheered on by Davy Jones

Triton Royal baby preparing his discusting belly

Pollywogs to pick up the coin on his belly with their teeth

Triton wanting them to get the proper face mask.

Kissing the foot of Amphitrite

Reading the oath they can't take back...

Hosed down before meeting our Lord..

King Neptune declare the baptism, from a slimy pollywog into a properly certified and named Shellback,

Below front and back of their certificates.(copyright C.Niit)

Equatorial Baptism, Blanked out Jan 4^th Enroute Aberdeen to Rio de Janeiro

Neptune- Marten

Amphitrite- Gilbert

Triton(Royal baby)- Justin

Davy Jones-Julio

Shellback 1(Bear)- Julius

Shellback 2(Bear)- Arnel

Shellback32(Bear)- Efren

Event unfolding 1230lt

Pollywogs(slimys) gather on Abandon ship muster station.

Captain Blue blubber, Together with One of Davy Jones “Bears”, gives all an introduction(History) to/of the event. On que from the bridge,

Davy Jones:

“Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Make way for his Most Glorious Oceanic Majesty Neptunus Rex,

Hear ye..”

HRH Royal court enter’s and take their seats.

Neptune:

“Good morning “Stettler” you’ve travelled long way,

I’ve waited a long time for this glorious day.

Ye all know full well what I’m here to do,

I hear there are “tadpoles” among your crew.”

Captain:

“Oh, yes your majesty, there are.

Will you punish our crimes, with that terrible fork…

I present for your favour, my crew to your court.”

Neptune:

“From my courtly Davy.. I have heard it told,

there are some in your crew.. so brave and so bold.

As to warrant my favor .. there may be some missed,

so Davy, bring forward.. my honorably list.”

Davy Jones: (Reading from the scroll)

“Captain Blue Blubber.. Kneel before your King”

(Captain kneels by the feet of the King.)

Neptune:

“For steaming this ship.. for a distance not small.

For care of your crew.. be they dumb, fat or tall.

I hope you Sir, will never disdain..this knightly order of Propeller and Chain..”

(Captain awarded the order, chain around neck and dubbed with Trident )

“I also command you as King of the Seas..

To pay me a tribute while still on your knees.

This token to be a beer all around..

Or I’ll take your ship and run her aground”

Captain:

“ So it shall be”

Davy Jones:

“Arise!

Old Sea Dog, Fifth Class of the Ancient Order of the Propeller and Chain”.

(Addressing His Majesty)

“If your Majesty finds it convenient..

we’ve had time enough to be lenient.

It’s just about time.. for that big tank of brine,

To make you all shellbacks.. for ‘Crossing the Line’.”

Neptune:

“King Neptune, I, Lord of the Sea..

welcome you all, whoever you’d be.

I am the Lord of the Oceans wide..

Lord of the Rivers, Lord of the tide.

My laws are strict, but do not fear..

if you will only persevere.

To keep the freedom of the seas..

as recognized by our degrees.

Here are the Bears, the Suds, the Bath..

they are the only certain path.

For all who wish to cross the Line..

And be enrolled as sons of mine.

In order then, as we command..

before us let each Tadpole stand.

Who has his freedom yet to win ..

Enough ... my trusty men, Begin!”

Davy Jones:

(From the scroll read out he (Christian)name’s of the men standing charged, Comes forward, form a line (on their knees)be cast in chain in front of the tribunal.)

“Keith Gauld

Darren Patterson

James Woods

Ross Williams

Charles Blake

Mattias Isaksson

Jody Samuel

Riza Zakaria

Michael Bain

Yury Neplya

Aldo Diaz Gomez

Solina Pericles Fornolles”

“You are hereby charged with the following…

Sailing Neptune’s realm as an infidel.

Taking the beauty and pleasure of the seas for granted.

Lacking respect and responsibility towards the deep and it’s creatures.

"Be ready to be cleansed..

Repent you weak tadpoles, slymes and Pollywogs “

Davy Jones:

Place the fish neckless around their necks.

Put Ointment, (Kaviar,banana and charcoal) on their forehead and around their cheek.

Reciting for each Pollywog;

”From the deep and back to the water, full circle”

Pollywogs led to the “Tarp crawl” blind folded before crawl,

Davy Jones:

“Crawl you maggots Arghhh! Arghh!”

All Pollywogs follow suit.

Led to the Royal bath, (consisting of salt water, charcoal, fish marinade, and a few dead fishes)

Davy Jones: “In the Dark.. Out the light”

..Dunked one time, one by one. and find the fish.

Then led to the Royal baby(Triton), to “teeth grab” the “coin of initiation” token of Neptune, from the baby’s "Anointed" belly bottom.(No tincture, but a soup of disgust, put together by the Royal baby himself(Justin W))

Davy Jones:

”Hands on back, just teeth & mouth..

Neptune’s coin you must take out”.

Then meeting Queen Amphitrite..

Davy Jones:

“Amphitrite foot so neat and pale..

Yearn a kiss with lips like snail.”

After foot kiss greeting done.. (Foot covered in char coal garlic kaviar paste)

Davy Jones:

“Under skirt so foul and Black..

Read the oath you can’t take back”

Then reading the oath for the order of the deep between her legs, under her smelly skirt(under chair draped in old food waste bin liners and garlic (flash light?) Head needed to come close to see the text on the back of the chair

Hosed down, before finally kneeling a final time before Neptune.

Finally Meeting Neptune, who will accept him into his realm.

Neptune;

“I hearby find you worthy to be numbered as a trusty Shell back, and welcome you into the solemn mysteries of the ancient order of the deep,

And I give you the name_______*_____*________”

Keith Gauld - *Viper Fish*

Darren Patterson - Axolotl

James Woods - Black Swallower

Ross Williams - Frilled Shark

Charles Blake - Tongue-eating Louse

Mattias Isaksson - Angler fish

Jody Samuel - Basket Star